It wasn't you, it was me...

I just had an epiphany. I think I've solved the mystery to Monocacy Gold.

I took Justin to a little jumper show today. We warmed up with the 3 ft. division, and then did two rounds in the 3'3" - 3'6" division. This was easily the highest course I've ever ridden in a show, because schooling shows don't usually set their fences at true height. (A 3'3" class, in my experience, is usually barely even a solid 3 ft. class.)

The 3 ft. division was set closer to 2'9", and thank goodness for that, because I might be dead otherwise. I don't know what happened to me today... We had such a good ride yesterday, we've been making so much progress on the flat! I decided to put him in the snaffle, not the hackamore, because I feel like I'm still sort of learning how to use the hackamore, and I was worried that if I were to go into "panic show jump" mode (which I did...), it would be far more horrific than if it happened in the snaffle. (Mostly because it has happened in the snaffle, and I know that we can still get around a course in that fashion, even if it's far less than ideal.) But I really wish I had ridden him in the hackamore, because I think we would have avoided going into that self-destruct mode.

Which we did not.

We were in "self-destruct mode" every single course. I froze up. I hung on his mouth. The first class we were beyond lucky- the fences were small enough that he could step over them- so our absolutely ludicrous speeds didn't cause the problems we would have had if the jumps had been any higher. We won the class, because we went faster than everybody else, but I walked out of the ring feeling horribly disappointed and embarrassed by the way I was riding. I still had people coming up to me left and right to tell me how great our round was, and how great of a rider I was, etc. All I could do was smile and say "thank you," even though I didn't mean it.

Don't get me wrong, I really did appreciate their kindness. I met a lot of very nice people and I liked them all very much. But I realized what it is that had me so disappointed, and it very well may explain every single problem I ever had with Gold.

Here it is:

Why were these people complimenting me? They were complimenting me because from the display they had just seen, I was riding an incredibly strong and difficult horse, with a lot of "go" and not enough "stop," but a jump that could clear the moon. They were complimenting me for dealing with the problems my horse presented to me.

What these people didn't know, though, was that I was the one causing these problems.

A few weeks before MDHT in August, I had a breakthrough ride with Justin. I realized that I held on his mouth so much because I was fearful of him getting quick, but he only got quick when I was holding his mouth. I was making him feel trapped, and the only way he thought to escape this was to get quick. We were just constantly feeding off of each other in the worst way possible.

When I rode him around stadium and XC at Maryland, though, I did something different. I let him show me where the comfortable rein length was for him. I used my legs and seat, not my hands, to not only steer him, but to slow him as well. And we rode one of the best courses we've ever ridden. We weren't fussing with each other. He took me to all the spots on the jumps and I went with him, not the other way around. We continued that way at Seneca and again at the MDHT unrecognized horse trials.

We had a great lesson last week, but for some reason I just didn't bring what I had learned with me today. We won every class, but that was only because we happen to be a lucky pair. We're small and fast and can get around turns even when, by all laws of physics, we shouldn't. But this is not the way we should be going around the course. Justin could go like a hunter if I wanted him to. The only reason he got so strong and quick was because that was how I was riding him.

I think this was my problem with Gold.

I never rode Gold the way I've been riding Justin. He was so much bigger, the idea of losing control of his front end just seemed like a death wish. Sure, I had several instructors that tried to work with us on more riding from the back and less from the front, but after several years of going around like this with no formal instruction, we had adapted to this way of dealing with each other. I'm sure that is what made it so much harder to train us out of it.

I still know that Gold was a very powerful beast, there's absolutely no question about that. But I don't think that things necessarily had to be as difficult for us as they were. If I had learned sooner that the key to control is letting go, we would have been able to learn to go that way with each other. Instead, we developed habits that appeared to fix problems that I am beginning to question the cause of.

Having this kind of realization is so bittersweet. On the one hand, I am so pleased with myself as a rider to be able to recognize these kinds of things. It really reminds me that I will never be finished learning about my riding, and horses, and the sport itself.

On the other hand, I wonder how things would have been with Gold if I had been able to break us of our habits before they got out of control. And that is kind of a hard thought to deal with. I know Gold knew he was loved, and he had a good life. But I just hate knowing now that I was probably causing him more problems than I was fixing. Gold wanted to be good... He was good... But he wanted to be better.

I suppose there's no use dwelling on the past, simply take what I have learned from this and move forward with it. I really don't think you're ever done learning in this sport, and I think that may be why I am so passionate about it. You have to remain humble, otherwise you're just going to get yourself into trouble.

Enjoy my embarrassing jumper rounds. (Laugh at my awful riding, and be amazed by my incredible pony. Surviving today was all him.)

I love my father's comment, "I can't see a thing!" while his thumb is halfway covering the lens. (He moves it before fence 4.) Also please note that after the last fence we have to go halfway around the ring before we can stop...

Hey Training!

Justin and I just got back from our first Training level event!! We competed in the MDHT Unrecognized this morning, and I was honestly more nervous than I think I've ever been for a show before. He's been pretty consistently good the past few weeks, but the past couple of days have been a bit trickier. We had a lesson with Katie on Thursday, which was good, but I did feel a bit disappointed with how it went. Justin just felt very rushed and not on my aids at all, but I think the problem was that my ankle was irritating me too much to really be able to put any weight on it, so that led to obvious problems.

Katie said she was pleased with the lesson, though. She says that I'm learning how to use my legs and seat much more efficiently, which I definitely agree with. She's finally begun to let me sit to and between the fences, since I can now sit without pushing him with my seat. My biggest thing now is correcting my hands. I tend to tug on him at the wrong times, especially in front of the jumps, so we're working on almost throwing my reins away and letting Justin find all the distances without me. It's hard, because I instinctively want to "hold, hold, hold," when I really need to be letting go. It's definitely a comfort thing, because I know I ride better and he goes better when I let him do his thing. But we're still improving, and we'll get there eventually. :)

I was so pleased with Justin today. Our dressage was at 8:30 and stadium was at 9:30, which seemed a bit crunched to me, but it all worked out. I gave myself about 40 minutes of warm up, and he was feeling pretty good before we went into the ring. He had been a bit fussier and more distracted than usual though, so I wasn't really sure what would happen in the actual ring. It went about as well as I'd expected it to, no awful moments, a few great moments, but mostly mediocre. I did a much better job of not grabbing his face the way I tend to do when I get nervous in dressage, so that definitely helped. We got a 37.7, which is better than our recent string of 40's. Justin even got an 8 on his gaits (along with an 8 on one of our canters and an 8 on our halt/salute)!

Stadium was set up really nicely, although I was a bit skeptical about how a few of the combinations would ride. Fence 5 was a long one stride A/B, which we rode into really nicely, but I ended up climbing up his neck a bit at the B. He took care of me though, as he always does. Fence 1 rode probably better than any fence we've ever jumped in the show ring. Granted, it was the smallest fence on the course, so I wasn't thinking about it as much as the others, but I was still very pleased. We pulled a rail at fence 3, because he chipped in and popped it, but again, that was me being too heavy in my hands. All in all, it was a very decent round. I even had someone come up to me later to tell me how "lovely" our round was and how "fun" it is to watch us go. (And a girl who was with her also complimented us and then said, "This is why I want a pony!") I'm so lucky to have a horse that makes me look good!

I was actually scared silly about XC, but Katie just kept rolling her eyes and saying, "You'll be fine!" And she was right! 1 through 5 rode perfectly, 6 was a big log into the water with a B complex which was an up bank out of the water, and that gave us a bit of trouble. Justin backed off BIG time, which I'm sure was partially my fault since I was definitely anticipating it. He broke to a walk, I thought we'd have to circle and count as a refusal, but I popped him with the bat just to remind him we had to get over it, and he did! Jumped it from basically a stand-still, cantered right on through the water and out the bank with no problem. Fence 7 was an option of a double chevron or a maxed out brush with a ditch under it. I should have taken the brush, but I had been so nervous about that fence after walking the course yesterday, I just opted to take the chevrons. I definitely took Justin for granted on that one, though. He got a bit wiggly to the base, and ended up doing almost a spider crawl over the jump. I think we may have knocked the flag over... Whoops. The rest of the course went pretty well though. I flatlined a bit on the second to last fence, which I tend to do at the end of XC, and Katie has been on my case about. I pulled myself together for the last fence though, and I finished with a huge smile on my face.

We ended up 5th out of 5 with a score of 41.7, but that was definitely a score I'm very happy about. We still have a lot of work to do, but at least having the confidence in ourselves that we CAN run around at training is a good start. We have Rubicon in a few weeks, which will be our first recognized training, so we have enough on our plate to keep us busy until then. But if Rubicon goes as well as today, I'll be pleased. If it goes even better, that would be really great though!

Training Ready!

I just had one of the best rides on Justin that I think I've ever had. I rode through the Training level Test A for the first time, and I don't think I could have asked for much better! The test was far from perfect, mind you, but Justin was SO on the ball, he did absolutely everything I asked him to do and stayed quiet and soft the entire time. The first time I trotted through the canter parts, because we really haven't been doing much canter work, but I cantered him the second time through, and he felt great. It was the first time I'd ever asked him for an extended canter (and an extended trot, and canter/trot/canter transition on the diagonal), but it really felt like we'd done it all a million times before. I'm so pleased!

The tricky part now is going to be keeping him this quiet and responsive and fit until next weekend. I'm going to Boston for 3 days, so hopefully his little vacation won't loosen any screws...

Rain Is A Good Thing!

So it has been raining nonstop for the past 48 hours pretty much. Which I am not in a position to complain about, we've been needing it, bad! But it would have been really great if Justin's stall could have not flooded... I tried to clean it out yesterday, but I filled the wheelbarrow with wet shavings and then it was too heavy for me to dump. :( Perhaps I'll have better luck tomorrow.

I didn't ride yesterday, partly because of the weather, but mostly because my ankle has been acting up, so I used to weather as an excuse to take a day off. I'm going to at least lunge my two today, just to get them out. I'd love to ride, but I really don't want to push it and end up having to take more time off. The other four are out in the back 45, so if it keeps raining I definitely won't ride them, because I feel terrible making Lorenzo go out and get them.

On a more positive note, this time off has given me an excellent opportunity to watch the WEGs! Sadly it's only dressage again today, but it's still pretty interesting to watch. Boyd Martin put in a very solid test yesterday, which I was very pleased to see. He was the only competitor for team USA that I watched yesterday, but I can go back and watch the rest because I bought a subscription to the games on Universal Sports. $30 for full access. Money well spent.

Corbin was SO good on Wednesday! I posted before I had ridden him, so I didn't get to write about it, but oh my goodness! It was the first time I didn't lunge him before I got on, so I was half expecting him to try to pull something funny, but he didn't! In fact, he was better than he's ever been! We walked around the arena three times in each direction, and then trotted twice around in each direction! He stayed on the rail almost the whole time, barely tried to stop at all, and definitely didn't throw any hissy fits whatsoever! He was a bit distracted by the horses in the field next to the arena, but hey, for the three-year-old's fifth time under saddle, I'd say he was pretty damn near perfect!

Dani should be coming out next week at some point, hopefully when we have better weather, and she'll get some pictures of all the guys so I can finally post those and get ad's up for them.

And now I shall return to my WEGs. GO TEAM USA!!

Hackamore Heaven & Rain (finally!)

So after I professed my love for the nathe bit yesterday, I rode Justin in a hackamore for the first time. Katie had suggested it during our last lesson because Justin tends to get a bit quick and tosses his head occasionally. I'd tried a hackamore with Gold a few years ago, but I think the combination of Gold's problems and my inexperience with using a hackamore just led to a big messy situation that made us both more frustrated. But with Justin, it really seemed to be the answer to our prayers!

I literally rode with loopy reins the whole time, and he didn't even so much as take one quick step. I really felt like I could ride him with my legs, seat, and stomach, and we felt more in sync than we've ever been. It makes sense to me that Justin would only get quick if he's unhappy with the bit/rein pressure on his mouth, because even the very first time I rode him I noticed how sensitive he is to the bit. (I actually noticed in the spring that he went much better when I simply rode him in a halter and lead rope than in his normal bridle.)

So I have a newfound love for my hackamore. I also have a newfound love for Flower, the mare that bucked me off a few weeks ago. We has a phenomenal ride today, she didn't pop a buck once and was really focused and willing. She usually gets distracted by her herd that gets turned out right next to the indoor arena, and she will obnoxiously call to them several times throughout our rides, but she didn't do that at all today! We jumped a bit too, and OH MY GOODNESS. This mare can jump! She has a huuuge jump, is honest, bold, and forward, but not too quick at all. I was very impressed. I think she is going to come a long way very quickly.

Benny was a charm today, too. I've switched him into the nathe and a flash, and he is really learning to soften and move into the bridle very well. I was getting worried because he was developing a pretty massive under-neck, but I've been lunging him a couple times a week which seems to be helping. I jumped with him yesterday, which went super! Benny is just such an awesome and sweet pony. I can't wait to find him a little girl in the spring! :D

I also started riding another horse of Alyse's yesterday, a big, young, bay gelding named Piccadilly I believe? He's very cute, big hunter-type. He's very green, but he doesn't seem to have a bad bone in him (knock on wood). I'm hoping to get a few of Alyse's guys to a schooling show or two before it gets too cold, but we'll see how that goes.

Justin's getting today off, still have to ride Lock and baby Corbin. I'm contemplating buying a weeks subscription to FEI TV so I can catch the WEGs, but it's $30, which is an awful lot of money. Oh horse world, why must you be so expensive?!

Ode to the Nathe

Oh Nathe bit,

in all of your wire and rubbery goodness,

how you keep my hands soft when they want to be strong,

preserving my ponies' gentle mouths.

Thank you for teaching me that a hot horse

sometimes simply needs the kindest solution.

No Pelham, nor gag, nor any exquisite bit offering quick results

can please my horses the way you do.

I want to tell the world,

shout from atop the tallest mountain,

"Hello world! Look no further! For the Nathe has come to solve your problems!"

A horse only gets one mouth in his life,

it is time we learned to respect it,

not destroy it.

It is time we learned to ride!

-William Shakespeare

(via Kelsey Siegel)

Who needs a saddle?

When I'm too injured to use a saddle, we do this:

(I love my horse.)

Sidelined

I've been trying to start this blog for months now, and what better chance to really get it started than when I'm stuck on the couch with a fractured ankle? I was riding one of our landlord Alyse's horses last week, and was bucked off for the first time in probably at least a year. Of course, having been so long since my last fall, the higher powers saw it fit to award me with a substantial injury, a nice ankle sprain/small fracture. I'm trying to take it slow so things can heal properly, but it's so hard! I hate being stuck inside and not being able to ride my horses. But, as I said, at least I'm getting a chance to do this blog.

I suppose for this first entry I'll just write about my current horses and projects.

• Just In Time ("Justin") - Justin is my 7 year old, 14.2 Mustang X gelding that I've had for almost a year now. I paid $500 for him as a birthday present to myself last year, which was a shock to not only my poor father but also to myself and everyone else. I wasn't looking for a new horse at all, after having lost Gold two months earlier. But Justin (who was then "Cowboy,") was going to be taken to auction at the end of the week if he wasn't given a home before then. So I figured I could at least afford to keep him out of auction and find him a forever home eventually. I wasn't expecting this to be his forever home! But he's stuck with me forever, this pony isn't going anywhere anytime soon. When I first bought him, Justing was barely even rideable. Very high strung, anxious, and incredibly green, the simple process of getting ready to ride was a struggle in itself. We pushed through, though, and by early this year, we had made a complete turnaround. With the help of Advanced-level eventer, Katie Wherley, we began the season successfully at Beginner Novice, and plan to end the season at Training level, which nobody was expecting! Justin is one of the most talented horses I have ever been lucky enough to work with, and everyone that we've ridden with or has seen us go seems to agree. This pony is limitless. Incredibly smart and determined, Justin and I have created a team together that I believe will not only reach great heights, but has also become the most important thing in my life.
• Benson Hedges ("Benny") - Benny is the newest addition to the Monocacy clan, a 14.1 hh, 7 year old Connemara gelding. Benny was a late bloomer, having spent the first seven years of his life serving as a lawn ornament. Benny is incredibly talented and smart, his gaits are smooth enough to sleep on, and his attitude is incredibly hard to not fall in love with! We're taking things slow, working mostly on his balance in the walk and trot right now, but I have jumped him a couple of times, and I can see this pony taking a very lucky little girl far along in whatever sport he ends up in. Benny is currently offered for sale to the right home only, and will probably be actively for sale in the Spring of 2011.
• Lock - Lock is a 4 year old, 14.1 chestnut Welsh/TB X gelding. Lock is very correct in his conformation, and has been well started under saddle. Currently schooling around 2' and working on changes, this pony will be perfectly suited for the Hunter ring. Lock is offered for sale, with an asking price of $15,000. For more information, contact kelseysiegel@gmail.com
• Corbin - 3 year old, blue roan 14 hh (approx.) gelding. Just started under saddle last week, and already incredibly easy and quiet. (Walking around the entire arena on the buckle!) Corbin is also for sale, and price will increase with training/show experience. Email kelseysiegel@gmail.com for more information.
• Flower - Flower is a 6 year old, 16.1 hh grey TB mare. She is incredibly elegant and athletic, big build with 3 gaits to die for. Flower would be great as a hunter, but would also excel as a Dressage or event horse. She's still very green, but is willing and aims to please. For more information, email kelseysiegel@gmail.com